


a detective's prologue to pining for (technically) criminals

by orphan_account



Series: a tale of deductions, heists, and pining [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: 17th-18th Century-ish, Alternative Universe - Historical Fiction, Costume Parties & Masquerades, Literal Detective!Akechi, Literal Phantom Thieves, M/M, No Spoilers, Not So Subtle Flirting, Pining, honestly very self-indulgent, i did this instead of my job applications, not beta read we die like persona tutorial shadow, vague references to classical novels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25530412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: masquerade balls, burning tailcoats, a stolen suitcase, old fashioned (homosexual) flirting (and yearning), and debates. lots of debates.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: a tale of deductions, heists, and pining [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1849852
Comments: 7
Kudos: 67





	a detective's prologue to pining for (technically) criminals

**Author's Note:**

> so i compiled some of my [favorite goro akechi headcanons](https://twitter.com/kemonorui/status/1287381235635908608) and redid a thin line divides justice and self (which was supposed to have a similar plot to this) and whatever this atrocity is the apparent result of my procrastination and self-indulgence because i would die for a gentleman thief akiren
> 
> i plan on making this a series (hence the prologue title) but i don't know how long i'll last [nervously chuckles] 
> 
> until then, please have the very meeting of our star rivals - gentleman thief akiren and detective of justice goro. god i love this trope. arsene lupin and sherlock holmes could never

Goro Akechi had very little patience for formalities, in spite of what the common people know (or, as they assume so) about his supposedly  _ pleasant _ personality. 

He hated having to repeat his name to no-good people who’ll just write him off as some easy acquaintance they’d benefit from when in need, tell his job to noblemen and members of the royal tree who he knows would be dying to pay him any amount he asks for so as long as he doesn’t report any of their… undignified acts, to put lightly, to the royal palace’s bureau of criminal investigation (it’s actually  _ Bureau of Crime and Investigation, _ completely different things,  _ idiots), _ and his purpose to whatever so occurred that led to him introducing himself to people in the first place. It’s an endless circle of basic human respect and the need to go berserk, and a litany of words that leaves a hideous taste in his mouth when he realizes that he’s in too deep into this gentleman demeanor of his.

So it’s no surprise that the moment he hears what their next course of action is, he inwardly groans and resists the need to curse those  _ damned thieves _ at the top of his lungs.

“Based on Akechi’s deductions...” he hears Sae Nijima speak from inside the room, supposedly to the director of the investigation bureau, and he almost winces at the mere mention of his name.  _ There is very little credibility in the word deduction in itself. _ Then again, this was a case that didn’t have enough, let alone  _ any, _ evidence. Deductions were their next good opportunity, which was better than any of the other things Goro had heard from his colleagues. “...the thieves are expected to perform their next heist during this duke’s masquerade ball. He didn’t mention anything about a calling card, despite being one of the three recipients of the card a day ago, which led us to believe that he may think he has the situation under control.”

Goro silently enters the room, attracting a glance from the two adults speaking, and he only nods in response as he makes his way to one of the couches to sit and listen.

The director’s new room (after finally being provided with enough funds to renovate the building from the royal palace’s associates) looked newly furnished; varnish was still very much visible on the wall, and aside from half-filled bookshelves covering the room’s walls, the camelback velvet couches that are placed in the middle of the room facing each other, the chandelier hanging from the ceiling and the director’s desk itself, the place still felt a bit too empty and new for Goro to get used to.

  
“However, they are thieves, after all. Thieves too worrisome and too laced with trickery that we barely have enough evidence to even pinpoint a complete appearance.” The director sighs as he skims through the papers placed on his desk, which, really, were just handwritten accounts of witnesses and newspaper articles, as well as a contact list of possible people who may have connections with the thieves they were pursuing. “So you assume that their next target is…  _ this _ man?”

“Although assuming is a rather vague and irresponsible gesture to do, yes. It’s better if we try to act now or we’re bound to fall victim again to public criticism and the acceptance of unlawful means being put to use to attain their pathetic justice.” Goro replies with an ever insightful tone, watching the director’s hands tap on the table, suddenly aware of the tense pressure placed on everyone’s shoulders and the duty that they have to do. 

_ Thieves with no names, no descriptions, presumably highly trained and possessing of their own source of intel, supplies, and connections, and would go as far as to strategize and create elaborate plans that make use of such ways to attain their own justice.  _

_ How very much intriguing. _

“Very well, then. I will have you,” he glances at Sae, who looked pleased with the invocation, “and Akechi as my wife and I’s plus ones to the masquerade ball. Do investigate as much as you can, and if your deductions prove to be true, I want you to catch them in the act. At least very much provide evident descriptions or useful information instead of just the usual  _ I saw them in the act.” _

“I understand, director. We will not disappoint.” Sae says, and Goro nods when he’s met with the director’s expectant look. 

“You have a week to undergo preparations. I will allow handguns on the condition that you will not cause any unnecessary commotion and that it will be returned unscathed and functioning. We will not bring any reinforcements. Keep your heads down and your faces safely hidden. Let the thieves have their false sense of obscurity.” The director adds with the grin Goro grew to loathe.

_ Scum. Scum. You have never cared about justice. _

_ Thieves, aren’t you supposed to steal the hearts of the real scum of society? _

“Oh, we will. We will and the people will see.” Goro grits out, not wanting to break his mask in front of his superior, no less, and leaves as soon as he and Sae were dismissed.

  
  
  


The duke’s palace-like residence was small but royal in terms of appearance. A small orchestra played a lovely rendition of tunes that couples and friends alike were dancing to on the neatly carpeted floors, with a glossy shine to the entire scene thanks to the large chandelier that lit the entire area. A row of large tables containing savory food and tempting desserts was to his left, facilitated by the staff in charge of catering the food. There was a bar not too far from the venue, and there was a set of doors to the far right of the hall, presumably for guests as they were not guarded.

He looks around the masquerade ball’s dance floor, catching whiffs of perfume and hushed whispers among the people he passes by, barely recognizing any of the faces that he’s met, all covered by a mask that, despite only covering half of one’s face, somehow made distinguishing a complicated and nearly impossible feat to accomplish. Aside from the hair (which he’s sure were all trimmed and arranged), the eyes (he’s never seen anyone that doesn’t have brown or dark hues), and the clothes (do pray tell, how do you distinguish clothes that are only ever worn once or twice?), he doesn’t have any clue as to how else he could possibly describe anyone besides from those he’s spoken with.

_ Let alone the thieves. Those phantom thieves. _

He feels an incoming migraine as his vision fails to focus on anyone at all, so he enters one of the nearest rooms he knows would be empty and sighs with relief when he sees a fireplace, a table for refreshments, and a couch he would be more than happy to occupy.

_ Well, if it wasn’t occupied, at least. _ Which  _ was _ the case when disappointment completely overtakes him when he realizes there’s another masked man napping on one of the couch’s farther armrests. 

“I see the mere flicker of the light that is hope from a faraway distance not knowing that it was simply a lit matchstick that soon dissipated the moment I arrived. Did I mention that it also had the audacity to rain on my parade…” he nearly sobs - moreso out of frustration, but mainly because Goro just feels a little too overwhelmed about, well, everything - as he smudges his face with his hands. 

Nevermind failing taking into account how his whining could’ve potentially woken up a stranger who was just napping because, maybe, just maybe, he was also having it rough. 

“Uh… sir? Sir?”   
  
_ “Do not _ mock me-”

Goro raises his head to yell at the man before him, but he stops himself before he realized what could happen if he decided to raise his voice at anyone at this moment. 

A man sporting a rather gothic look, what with the utter devoid of color in his outfit, black ankle-length trench coat and black trousers, paired with a lighter-toned black waistcoat, with gold accents and reaching up to his neck. Despite being a ball and everything, this man had… extremely messy hair. Nearly silver, more gray eyes meet his, accentuated by the black outlines on his white domino mask, and Goro feels like  _ crying. _

_ Stay focused, your sexuality takes zero parts in an investigation. Homosexuality has no room for- _

“Sir,  _ your tailcoat’s on fire?!” _

_ Ah, no wonder I felt a bit hot. _

He turns around and sees a little fire burning the bottom of his tailcoat, and he nearly sobs.

“Sir,” he says with the calmest, most frightening voice he can muster while he’s  _ about to be set on fire, _ “could you possibly hand me a small blanket from the couch’s cushions?”

The man  _ gapes _ at him. “Sir…?”   
  
_ “For fuck’s sake, just please lend me a glass of water!” _

Goro steps away from the fireplace he wasn’t even aware he was standing in front of and begins killing the fire by frantically whopping a pillow on his now scorched tailcoat, while the stranger approaches him with a half-empty glass of water. 

“Now, pour it slowly but swiftly.”

The man  _ gapes _ at him  _ again, _ and Akechi was about to  _ screech, _ and then the fire was gone.

He and the other man shares a look.

Goro looks at the burnt portion of his tailcoat.  _ I had this tailcoat bought for plenty of reasons. Setting it on fire is not one of them.  _

…

“Thank you, kind sir. I genuinely apologize for disrupting your nap, but for the sake of my sanity, would you please allow me to rest on this couch you were not too long ago occupying?” He gives the other person before him his best smile, an internal part of him begging and panicking because he was investigating and he suddenly finds this masked stranger fascinating and he was  _ nearly _ dying if not from burning then from panic not even a minute ago and if the stranger says no he will not hesitate to grab his gun and shoot him.  _ Justice for my sanity, I shall call it that. _

“...Are you seriously okay? You do know you’re allowed to freak out over, um, nearly being burnt?” The stranger asks, and Goro decides he’ll accept the comfort that tinges his voice’s tone for now because he hasn’t been stopped from sitting and slowly melting into the couch. 

“I’ve been meaning to get rid of the outfit, either way. And it was a small portion. I was more concerned about not getting my job done before the ball ends.” Goro replies slowly, wanting to lead the conversation away from the  _ freaking out is valid _ part to the stranger possibly asking him about his job.

“Oh? You’re here for a job, then?” The other stranger asks, to which the detective replies to with an affirmative nod. “A party job? You know, like those guest stand-in’s or those paid plus ones-”

“Actually, I’d like to know why you’re just napping here instead of being out there, Mr…?”

“Akira. Akira Kurusu. I’m actually not a big fan of _ big-people-I-wouldn’t-even-recognize _ events like, well, a  _ masquerade _ ball. My friends are out there, though. If you see a lady with blonde hair wearing a red dress or a guy with darker blonde hair wearing a black suit, most probably arguing, that’s them.”

Goro nods, relating a little with Akira’s reasoning of the unpleasantness of the entire  _ anonymity in the people you dance with _ gig. “Alright then, Akira Kurusu. My name’s Goro Akechi, I’m a detective, and I’m actually here to see if those spotless phantom thieves might perform a heist in this ball since my deductions have led so.” He says, observing the other man astutely to see any sudden tensed reactions or at least a hint of recognition.

There  _ was _ a tensed reaction, alright, but it was soon followed with, “The thieves? You mean there could possibly be thieves with us right now?” He asks nervously, looking out at the door and back to Goro. “Are you sure we shouldn’t warn the people…?”   
  


“Knowing those thieves, they’d probably ignore the jewelry and furniture and head straight to… incriminating sources of information that could be used for blackmail against the duke who arranged for this masquerade ball.” Goro begins, the need to placate Akira’s sudden nervousness around him taking the reins of his speaking, despite the reasonable portion of his mind telling him to stop because he’s sharing confidential information with a stranger, of all people, but then again, this stranger did prevent his body from being reduced to ashes, so he continues. “They’ve only ever acted whenever there’s a large event where their target is most likely occupied and where it’s hard to catch anyone that stands out. All their previous heists were public events, and since the duke of this ball received a calling card and was planning to hold a ball… I decided to take action here, instead of the other two, which I’m sure were convoys.”

“Wait, wait… incriminating information against targets? Why?” Akira asks.  _ Why indeed. _ Goro smiles at him and shakes his head lightly.

“These thieves… the public hails them as vigilantes. Disposing of scums who let the ugliness of human nature consume them whole. For some twisted semblance of justice. The ends justify the means, they probably think.” The detective mutters, ignoring the sudden pressure weighing in his chest and looking up to see Akira stare at him. “What?”

“I don’t know. I just thought that being called scum by you may be more of a compliment than an insult, as a whole.” The other man says, and Goro almost  _ chokes _ on air when he continues, “At least, for me.”

“...Are you  _ kidding _ me?”   
  


Akira laughs and raises his hands up. “In all honesty, your whole thieves justice and what-dots speech is very, well…  _ attractive. _ But I’ve got to say, I still don’t know why you consider those thieves a… more as criminals despite their seemingly heroic objectives.”

_ Oh? _ “Excuse me? Heroic?”

The other man leans into his hand placed on the couch’s back as he fully turns his body to Goro. “I mean, no offense to you, sir detective, but it looks like had these thieves never acted, the authorities wouldn’t be any closer to actually discovering how these noble people are actually corrupt culprits.”

_ I can punch you right now, Akira Kurusu, and it could be considered as slander against the royal palace, which would have you pay a fine of a few pennies, which you would certainly be in possession of since you’re in this ball, but would still be an inconvenience, right? _ “You certainly do have a point, Kurusu, but there is this thing called reporting things to the authorities. Those thieves should’ve known if that was the running root of their acts, so what’s preventing them?”

Akira raises an eyebrow, which should be illegal because he was  _ so _ doing it on purpose to mess with Goro, and says, “I don’t know… perhaps they think the authorities are insufficient? Or that they’re under the influence of the very powerful people they’re targeting? Or they had experienced being let down by them? There’s a lot of reasons why one doesn’t like the royal palace’s judicial system, y’know.”

Goro looks away, Akira’s godawful stare a little too much for him when the other man was  _ literally insulting _ Goro’s entire work and purpose down his neck, and he internally sighs as he’s met with the realization that  _ one, _ Akira is possibly messing with him because he’s part of the judicial executioners the other man probably despises, and  _ two, _ he’s been neglecting his job in favor of listening to a man downgrade it to something unworthy and untrustable. 

“That was… a rather interesting conversation we had there, Kurusu, but I’m afraid I should really get going if I wanted to do my job well.” The detective returns to his  _ goody-two-shoes _ demeanor, about to stand up and head straight out, and he’s about to ask if Akira had any problems with him before he gets cut off by the said man.

_ “Wait, _ I didn’t mean to insult you or anything if that’s how you felt, I’m really sorry… that was rather harsh of me, wasn’t it? I mean, they’re not all useless or not doing their job right…” Akira glances at him with a small smile and Goro doesn’t swoon,  _ no, not at all, _ “I mean, you’re here, after all. And you obviously don’t like being in here if you headed straight to an undisturbed area, but you still want to return to bring those thieves to justice because, in the end, they’re criminals and… I really,  _ really _ like that.”

The detective widens his eyes as Akira brings his hand to his mouth and chuckles. “Sorry, I kinda rambled there, but, well… there wouldn’t be any need for you to return so early? Wouldn’t there be a commotion if the thieves were to suddenly appear?”

Goro ignores the soft flutter that he feels and pushes down the thought of crying because  _ someone actually genuinely wants him to stay and accompany them _ and settles for a small nod,  _ what are you doing, Sae is literally looking for you, _ and he sits back down and looks away from Akira, who was smiling goofily.  _ Hide your satisfaction, you utter goofball. _

“If my superior berates me later, I’ll tell her it’s all because of Akira Kurusu. I’ll tell her you’re the thieves’ distraction for me. You do understand that?”

“Oh, so now I’m the criminal for supposedly being a great conversation partner? Such a messed game this is, Detective Akechi.”

“To be fair,” Goro says, looking at Akira with an amused look on his face, “I’ve never talked to anyone who’s quite bold with their beliefs that obviously contradict mine, and so honestly as well. It would be a lie if I tell you I’m not in the very least hoping for the conversation to stretch out a bit more. I do recall reading a philosopher’s book, where he says something along the lines of advancement being impossible if thesis is not met with its antithesis.”

“That’s so hot.”

“Excuse me?”   
  
“I meant to say that that was rather… hot. Warm. Philosophy’s lukewarm. Er, warm. You get me? Like how traveling and debating and calculations are hot and bookkeeping and nature painting is cold and philosophy is uh… in between?”

_ What? _ He hopes Akira doesn’t notice the confusion that spreads through his expression, so he nods slowly, trying to process the other’s boy words. Philosophy is lukewarm? 

_ Did he just evade calling me hot or is he serious about his discussion about hobbies as temperatures? _

_ Akira Kurusu is definitely oh-so-hot, Goro Akechi’s so-not. _

They somehow go from their temperature discussion to talking about Akira’s cat Morgana, who Goro learns helped him and his other friend Ryuji (who was the blonde guy Akira had mentioned earlier, he realizes from the very vague descriptions the other man says) find their way through a part of the city they’ve never been in and soon Akira adopts him because he kept eating their coffee house’s seafood specials for the summer  _ (he works at a coffee house! _ Goro’s mind not so helpfully provided images of Akira and his dainty hands working through cups and siphons), and Goro finds himself telling the other man a small anecdote of when a bat entered their office while they were working late at night on a tough case and they somehow ended up thrashing the entire office and finding a piece of paper that apparently provided them a vital piece of information that led to the capture of the culprit. He had to cover Akira’s mouth  _ (those were the man’s lips on his palms! _ Goro’s mind again not so helpfully provides as he tries his best to shush Akira) to prevent any other on-lookers that would snoop in on their  _ extremely friendly and pleasant _ conversation.

Goro checks his watch in the middle of Akira telling this story about a pesky customer he encountered in his old flower shop job and feels a wave of dread when he sees that nearly three hours have passed and  _ nothing _ has happened at all.

“Akira,” he calls, grabbing the attention of the other man. “I really have to go. Three hours have passed, and I’m pretty sure there are a few guests left now that it’s nearly midnight. You can come out with me if you wouldn’t mind.”

He’s glad Akira follows suit as he stands up, getting a suitcase from the side of the couch as they exit the small room they were lounging in.

Goro was right - the number of guests was slowly yet surely dwindling, with more making their exits than those entering and still staying in the ballroom. Goro glances to his left to see where Akira was, but he’s met with two masked people talking and laughing off his companion, presumably the same people Akira mentioned earlier. The detective ignores the bitter tang of  _ something _ on his mouth when he sees the same blonde friend (Ryuji, was it?) hang an arm around Akira’s shoulder, the other woman with them following suit.

_ So much for friends. What kind of friend would make their friend feel so left out that they had to stay in a separate room away from all the action? _ Goro thinks, turning away to search for Sae, when he bumps into someone and notices that  _ holy shit _ it was the director, and was he  _ smiling? _

“Akechii…. No thieves tonight, ahaha... We’ll conduct a check tomorrow... and see if that…  _ horses…” _ The director slurs on his words, the smile never leaving his face, and Goro realizes,  _ oh, _ he’s drunk.  _ No wonder. _

“I understand, sir. Has Sae-”   
  
“Oh, that woman, she was the one who proposed that and this to me, she knows…” 

Goro gives the director a judging look, knowing well he wouldn’t notice it at all and nods instead with a small, perfectly plastered smile.  _ Mock him. Mock him while’s he’s so gone and dumb. _ “That’s good to hear, sir. I shall now get going, I enjoyed this opportunity to do field investigating on the very spot the thieves could’ve performed in.” 

He turns around, ignoring the director’s continued conversation with the air (that he most likely sees as Goro) and heads straight outside to rent one of those guest carriages the duke has provided, maybe get some air into his head for a while before he heads home.

The detective can’t help but frown as he realizes that his deduction could’ve possibly led them  _ nowhere. _

_ Where’s your worth now, Akechi Goro, famed youngest detective of the royal palace? _

_ If he can’t get his deductions right for a case so unknown and so… out of place like this one, what’s he any good for? _

He sighs out loud and looks up at the starless night sky. Perhaps a phantom thief will jump out the duke’s windows, hand around a box or a bag, mask and inconspicuous attire and all, and they’ll leave another calling card that says  _ we’ve stolen your heart, and we shall now make you atone, _ or something along the lines and a part of Goro wants to rip out their mask and ask them  _ why must their means of attaining justice be so far from those of Goro’s? _

_ What kind of courage spurred these thieves to act on their own accord? No, what kind of system made these thieves think it was better to break the law in order to bring justice than to simply report it to authorities? _

_ Or they had experienced being let down by them? There’s a lot of reasons why one doesn’t like the royal palace’s judicial system, y’know. _ His mind returns to Akira’s words in their conversation from before, and he almost laughs at the absurdity of it.

The absurdity of knowing Akira is right, and the absurdity that despite Goro thinking so, he’ll keep pursuing through with it because it’s his job. He’s nothing but the system’s puppet.

“You sure do need some rescuing there, Detective Akechi.”

Goro almost yelps as he turns around to meet Akira face to face, mask removed, and everything.

_ He almost melts on the spot. His brain goes haywire. _ Goro gasps and stifles the laugh that suddenly wanted to be let out of him, and he simply shakes his head. “And what exactly do you mean by saving, Kurusu?”   
  
“You looked like you were drowning in your thoughts. Be thankful I knew how to swim through them and get you back here.”

They look at each other for a moment or two, and they laugh. Much freely, much better, knowing there’s no one out to spare them a second glance or to tell them off for disturbing a now finished ball.

“Penny for those thoughts?” Akira asks, and Goro simply shakes his head.

“A person’s thoughts will be worth more than a penny, Kurusu.” Goro responds, and he sees the gradually decreasing amount of guest carriages. “However, I must be going now. I can’t exactly walk my way home from here, so I’ll be catching one of those. It’s been honestly wonderful talking to you, Kurusu.” He smiles,  _ genuinely, he takes note, _ and turns his back as he walks away from the very man he’s felt so  _ free _ talking to.

“Hold on, Akechi!”

The detective turns his head to be met with Akira approaching him once more, a hand playing with his hair that unfairly frames his  _ handsome _ face in a way that brings out the sharpness of his features.

“Would a certain Goro Akechi’s thoughts be worth a cup of coffee or two, and perhaps some curry?” He cheekily asks, and Goro stops his hands from pinching the other man’s cheeks and takes a few seconds to compose himself.  _ Is he asking me out. Is he asking me out. Is he asking me out. _

“A cup of coffee and curry would be nicer with a pleasant conversation, but I assume food truly is the way to a man’s heart.” Goro lets out before he even realizes the entirety and the  _ implication _ of what he was saying and struggles to return to his suave and flawless resolve when Akira suddenly laughs.

“A pleasant conversation with your antithesis, I assume?” Akira grins, and Goro feels heat rush up to his cheeks. He tries his best to cover his pink dusted face with his gloved hands, looking down as he pretends to shiver.  _ Wow. It’s unusually cold tonight haha. _

“O-Of course, Kurusu. Just give me a name and an address?”

“Leblanc. It’s near the royal palace’s criminal investigation bureau or something. I assume that’s where you work?”   
  
“It’s  _ crime and _ investigation, Kurusu. I’m sure I’ll find it in no time.” Goro replies and returns to his brisk walking to the guest carriage, too afraid of what more embarrassment he’ll bring himself the longer he stays with the meticulously charming Akira Kurusu. 

It’s a boring ride home, and it was a fruitless investigation, nothing new about that, but he can’t help but feel as though a crime had truly occurred on the spot while he was conversing absentmindedly with Akira.

_ Has my heart been stolen? _

  
  
  


Goro Akechi receives a report that the duke’s office has been rummaged through and stolen from the following day.

“I don’t understand, I’ve had the office heavily guarded throughout the entire ball, how could someone possibly-”

“They knew.” Goro interrupts, a flash of a particular sleeping man and a hidden suitcase entering his mind before it suddenly disappears and he’s too tired to point out where he remembers the suitcase. “They thought that we’d be on high alert during the masquerade ball, so they possibly stole the papers from you before the ball started and before security rose. Were there any early guests at the venue?”

“Hm? I’m not sure… I wasn’t in charge of the guest list…”

Goro Akechi had very little patience for formalities, and for possibly anything else that didn’t have anything important to do with his life, but he was more than willing to test how far his patience can go when he decides that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t just his heart that Akira Kurusu stole the night before.


End file.
